Six Months On: Do I Still Think I’m Sapiosexual?
Realising I’m demisexual has given a new perspective
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Around the time I was starting to grasp the idea that I might be demisexual, I posted an article titled Sapiosexuality: My preference for intelligence, curiosity, and creative passion in a partner. I’d been planning that piece for a few weeks and decided to post it to preempt my growing understanding of how I fit in the asexual spectrum.
Here is that article:
What is sapiosexuality?
It is a primary sexual attraction to intelligence. This doesn’t mean people who use it to describe themselves will only date people with postgraduate degrees.
When last single, I sought women who were degree educated at a minimum. This was far more about drive and curiosity about the world than it was about academic achievement.
Also, academic performance is just one form that can appeal to intelligence-attracted people. Creativity, humour, and even a drive to just learn for the sake of learning regardless of your actual achievements are all attractive to me.
And this is why I tend to develop an autocrush on talented or academic women, and the nerdier they are about it, the more likely I am to be attracted to them.
Is “sapiosexual” now a bad word?
Some say “sapiosexual” is classist. I don’t believe it is and I grew up in a terraced house in a working class town. Despite having a master’s degree, I did not grow up in a privileged background.
From my reading, the idea of this being classist seems strictly an American attitude anyway. Higher Education is much more accessible to poorer people in the UK where I live than it is in the US. It’s also been suggested that it’s ableist which also seems a bit strange.
Drive, curiosity, and creative talent are not class or disability limited. I have no problem with people who use it with…
