Six Months On: Do I Still Think I’m Sapiosexual?

Realising I’m demisexual has given a new perspective

Matt Mason
3 min readMar 8


Around the time I was starting to grasp the idea that I might be demisexual, I posted an article titled Sapiosexuality: My preference for intelligence, curiosity, and creative passion in a partner. I’d been planning that piece for a few weeks and decided to post it to preempt my growing understanding of how I fit in the asexual spectrum.

Photo by Robina Weermeijer on Unsplash

Here is that article:

What is sapiosexuality?

It is a primary sexual attraction to intelligence. This doesn’t mean people who use it to describe themselves will only date people with postgraduate degrees.

When last single, I sought women who were degree educated at a minimum. This was far more about drive and curiosity about the world than it was about academic achievement.

Also, academic performance is just one form that can appeal to intelligence-attracted people. Creativity, humour, and even a drive to just learn for the sake of learning regardless of your actual achievements are all attractive to me.

And this is why I tend to develop an autocrush on talented or academic women, and the nerdier they are about it, the more likely I am to be attracted to them.

Is “sapiosexual” now a bad word?

Some say “sapiosexual” is classist. I don’t believe it is and I grew up in a terraced house in a working class town. Despite having a master’s degree, I did not grow up in a privileged background.

From my reading, the idea of this being classist seems strictly an American attitude anyway. Higher Education is much more accessible to poorer people in the UK where I live than it is in the US. It’s also been suggested that it’s ableist which also seems a bit strange.

Drive, curiosity, and creative talent are not class or disability limited. I have no problem with people who use it with…



Matt Mason

Archaeologist by training, freelance writer by choice. General creativity nerd. EIC of "The Ace Space" - a publication for ace and aro voices.